…it was 4am, I was left with the aching loneliness of knowing I was second best again. Alone in bed. Only good for a party or a weekend getaway, not a lifetime commitment. Never the bride, always the bridesmaid. But, who was I to feel sorry for myself? It was all on me.
I’m confused about what you hoped would come of your romance with this guy. It sounded at first like you only wanted “parties and weekend getaways” and casual sex. Was it only after you fell in love with him that you realized you wanted a commitment? It’s completely okay to want a committed relationship, but it’s good to be clear with yourself and the people you’re dating that that’s what you’re after.