I don't want to argue with or invalidate your experiences. However, I disagree with making sweeping generalizations about men based on a few experiences one person has had. It sounds like you've had some bad history with "nice" guys, which is really unfortunate. But I'd argue that those guys you mentioned weren't really nice at all. They only acted it because they wanted something from you. It's not always an act, though.

What you're saying fits perfectly into the dominant cultural narrative of romanticizing "bad boys" and painting them as the ideal partners. In my experience, though, the bad guys don't make good boyfriends; they're usually immature, self-absorbed, emotionally-unavailable users. They may be the ones we're most attracted to initially, but most of them are really not ready to be in a grown-up relationship and they're not going to change.

Meanwhile, there are tons of truly good, kind men out there who are decent human beings and actually do want to treat women well. Many of them aren't victims or entitled or any of the things you say they are. I can't tell you what you should do, but if you're looking for a more serious or long-term relationship, I would urge you to give genuinely nice guys a chance instead of writing them all off. They might surprise you.

Freelance writer & blogger. Empath, questioner, student of life and seeker of truth. Too many hobbies. Featured in Wholistique, Curious, An Injustice! and DDI.

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