“You know what I really miss? Swimming.”

“I know,” my partner sighed. “Me, too.”

Going to our neighborhood pool to swim some laps a few mornings every week had become a ritual for us. We’d roll out of bed early, groggily throw on some clothes, grab our gym bags, and make the 3-minute drive to the rec center.

Just the feeling of floating weightless in the cool, clear water brought me joy. There was something meditative about swimming back and forth, back and forth, across the length of the pool. …

Ask most people what they want in life, and they’ll usually give some variation of this answer: to be happy.

A lot of us spend most of our lives chasing after what we think will make us happy and avoiding what brings us pain or suffering. Which is understandable. None of us really want to suffer, do we?

But as good as it can feel in the moment to chase after pleasure and run away from pain, it doesn’t bring us lasting happiness. Every moment of enjoyment ultimately passes. Every vacation ends; every fun event comes and goes. …

Most people who’ve met me wouldn’t peg me as a Game of Thrones fan.

Friends and acquaintances have reacted with surprise when I’ve confessed my love for the series. One former friend pointedly questioned how I could possibly be into a show like that, and at the time, I didn’t have a great explanation.

To most people, I don’t seem like someone who would enjoy the gory, intense, gritty drama of GoT. I’m uber-sensitive in most respects. I don’t like real-life violence at all. …

I’ve never had more medical procedures done than I had in 2020.

It started somewhat innocuously, with a couple of trips to my doctor’s office early in the year. I had spent a couple of weeks last winter feeling sick with low-grade colds and viral infections. A handful of my lymph nodes had swollen up in response — which was not necessarily anything out of the ordinary.

The thing was, they weren’t going back down to their usual size, even weeks after the sickness had passed. I could feel a few swollen nodes in my neck, as well as a couple in my armpits and groin. Not so normal. …

We got some bad news here in Colorado last week.

After months of soaring COVID case counts in our state, our governor, Jared Polis, announced last Wednesday that the state will be relaxing its restrictions this week, allowing businesses and restaurants to run at a higher capacity.

The timing seems odd. In the wake of Christmas and New Year’s celebrations, we may be in for another spike very shortly. 73% of our ICU beds are full. A new and more contagious mutation of the virus has been found in Colorado. …

To the years of struggling and
striving to stay in the
confines of the
prison of perfection,
I say:
ENOUGH!

I’ve had it. I’m fed up.
I made my bed up with
stifling stories of
limitations and letdowns,
let myself get down
on myself one too many
times, and it’s prime time
to say:
ENOUGH.

Enough of the draining
chatter of neurotic brain
matter that does nothing
but shatter
my joy.

Instead I want to smash
this box of my making,
see my fists quaking
in the light that shines
through the broken
pieces.

Enough of second-guessing
questioning and testing
the innermost
workings of my
heart. …

A lot of people spend their whole lives dreaming of that distant day when they won’t have to work anymore. They spend years shoring up their resources and postponing long-held dreams as they pin all their hopes on being able to someday enjoy life — at 65 years old.

You may call it retirement. But I call it a trap.

Would it be nice to not have to make a living anymore? Sure, absolutely. …

If there’s one thing about modern dating advice that really grinds my gears, it’s the fact that so many people still promote the tired old idea that we need to play games with one another. I get especially annoyed when someone suggests that women should play “hard-to-get” to win a man’s affection.

Ideas like these should’ve stayed in the 1950s. It baffles me that people are still promoting this nonsense in the 21st century. A week or two ago I read an article about “acting like a lady while thinking like a man”. …